Who Am I Living For
by LesboDyke
Summary: Buffy wrote a poem. Someone takes it and makes it into a song. Lets find out who. Rating will be upped, eventually. FEMMESLASH WARNING! BUFFYXWILLOW


**Pauley: Hey everyone :-)**

**This is my first multi-chapter fic, so please please be nice to meeeeee!**

**Also, this is a Buffy and Willow fic, that will (If my muse co-operates, she is a bit of a bitch at times) become M-rated.**

**Inspired (And includes) the song 'Who Am I Living For' by Katy Perry**

**Willow: Uh, Pauley... you need to disclaim...**

**Pauley: Oh yeah, forgot that, Buff, you wanna do it for me?**

**Buffy: Kay.  
Pauley, A.K.A LesboDyke does not own BtVS or the song 'Who Am I Living For'. She is very poor and would prefer not to be sued for any use of these characters/lyrics.**

**Pauley: Thanks :-) Enjoy everyone xD**

* * *

"Buffy!" Giles called, causing Buffy to jump and be shook out of her thoughts.

"Oh, sorry Giles, I was thinking." Buffy muttered, still clearly deep in thought, but thankfully now responsive to outside influence.

"I guessed that much. I've noticed that you have been more distracted than usual recently Buffy. Would you like to talk about it?" Buffy nodded, but didn't speak. Giles sat next to her, waiting and giving his slayer time to collect her obviously troubled thoughts.

"Ever since... Ever since the Master drowned me... I've not been feeling right. I feel... I don't know how I feel, I can't sum it up. I just feel... off..." Giles nodded, removing his glasses to clean them. He had suspected as much, and already had an exercise for his slayer to try, he just needed to hear her admit it.

"Well Buffy, there is a way you could sum it up. In times of trouble, many people have turned to writing as a way to get their feelings out in a positive way. You could try writing a poem or a story. I understand that it is not your strongest suit, but I would like for you to give it a try." Buffy nodded, clearly still distracted. Giles placed a pen and a pad of paper in front of her.  
"Just give it a try. I'll leave you to it, and make sure you're not disturbed." Buffy nodded once more as Giles stood and walked out of the library, heading towards the school canteen, intent on trying to get some cake, and if that failed, he would head to the donut shop.

"Write a poem? Can I do that?" Buffy wondered aloud as she picked up the pen and danced it between her fingers.  
She closed her eyes, trying to picture the words she needed. Without warning, words came to her and she began to scribble furiously.

Within half an hour she was done, and she read through her work with a smile on her face. Giles had been right. She did feel better. She placed down her pen, after signing her name, and left the pad there for Giles to find as she headed home.

Buffy approached the library for her end of day training session with a smile on her face. Ever since writing that poem yesterday she had been feeling better, it was almost as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and many people had commented on how she looked much happier within herself.

As she entered the library the first thing she noticed was that on the table, exactly where she had left her poem last night, was her poem still, but with a tape on top of it and another piece of paper. She headed over, curious.  
The other piece of paper was a typed note that read

_I found this last night, I hope you don't mind.  
Enjoy._

Buffy picked up the tape and headed into Giles' office, ignoring Giles's questions as she placed the tape in the player and clicked the play button.

A heavy beat started up and then a voice started to sing. Buffy recognised the voice, as did Giles, but neither of them could place it properly.

"_Yeah, yeah, yeah._

_I can feel a phoenix inside of me  
As I march alone to a different beat  
Slowly swallowing down my fear,  
yeah yeah"_

Buffy could feel her eyes widening.

"That's my Poem!" She exclaimed.

"_I am ready for the road less travelled  
Suiting up for my crowning battle  
This test is my own cross to bare  
But I will get there_"

Buffy couldn't believe it. Someone had taken her poem and made it into a song. A good song. The singer was incredible, and neither of the listeners could place her voice.

"_It's never easy to be chosen, never easy to be called  
Standing on the frontline when the bombs start to fall  
I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames  
Calling out my name_

_I can see the writing on the wall_  
_I can't ignore this war_  
_At the eh-end of it all_  
_Who am I living for?_"

They could hear the emotion in the singers voice, almost as if the song had been written just for her to sing.

"_I can feel this light that's inside of me  
Growing fast into a bolt of lightning  
I know one spark will shock the world, yeah yeah_

_So I pray for a favour like Esther_  
_I need your strength to handle the pressure_  
_I know there will be sacrifice_  
_But that's the price_"

"Wow! What's the tunage?" Xander asked as he entered the office, only to be shushed by Buffy and Giles.

"_It's never easy to be chosen, never easy to be called  
Standing on the frontline when the bombs start to fall  
I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames  
Calling out my name_

_I can see the writing on the wall_  
_I can't ignore this war_  
_At the eh-end of it all_  
_Who am I living for?_"

Willow was stood, in the main body of the library, watching the other three listen. She couldn't hear what it was they were listening to, nor was there any room in the office for her, but she could tell by the look on the faces she could see that it was something powerful.

"_I can see the writing on the wall_  
_I can't ignore this war_  
_At the eh-end of it all_  
_Who am I living for?_

_At the end, at the end_  
_Who am I living for?_  
_At the end, at the end_  
_Who am I living for?_"

Buffy knew which bit was coming next and she was nervous. Although the singer had done an amazing job with the emotion so far, the next few lines meant so much to her that she thought her heart would break if they weren't sung in a proper fashion.

"_Heavy is the head that wears the crown  
Don't let the greatness get you down  
Heavy is the head that wears the crown  
Don't let the greatness get you down,  
oh, oh yeah_"

Buffy sighed silently in relief. They had put the right amount of emotion into it, without over-doing it, and by changing the voice in the way that they had, they highlighted the importance and sarcasm that they lines were meant to be filled with.

"_I can see the writing on the wall  
I can't ignore this war  
At the eh-end of it all  
Who am I living for?_

_I can see the writing on the wall_  
_I can't ignore this war_  
_At the eh-end of it all_  
_Who am I living for?_

_At the end, at the end_  
_Who am I living for?_  
_At the end, at the end_  
_Who am I living for?_"

As the last note faded, the three occupants of the office remained silent, spellbound by the powerful voice and lyrics.

Buffy was the first to speak, her curiosity peaking.

"Giles. Do you know who did this?" Giles just shook his head, feeling the same mixture of curiosity and confusion that the young slayer felt.

"Whoever did it has a killer voice. I don't know anyone who sings like that." Xander offered his input, his brain still blown from the power behind the woman's voice.

"Yeah." Buffy agreed.

* * *

**Pauley: So yeah...**

**Buffy: Wait! You can't leave me like that! Tell me who took my Poem!**

**Pauley: No chance Slayer.**

**Buffy: I will beat it out of you.**

**Pauley: Bring it! Willow! Tell 'em while I run *Begins running***

**Buffy: Get back here you! *Chases Pauley***

**Willow: Uhhh... Yeah, please Review, it may actually save Pauley's life. Oh, to late, Buffy caught her.**

**Buffy: DIE!**

**Pauley: HELP!**

**Willow: Gotta go and save her! Buffy! If you kill her, you'll never know!**

**Buffy: Damn.**

**Pauley: Owwww!**

**Willow: Come on, lets get you to a hospital.**

**Pauley: Thank you! Review guys, wish me well ;-)**


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